As the saying goes, “If you’re not following your dreams in life, why are you living?”

Granted, this is often much harder to achieve than many will admit, but that’s no reason to give up. Like everyone else, I have challenges to deal with when I’m not planning for and attempting world records. Nevertheless, those who can compartmentalize their sources of stress will surely live a fuller life because they’re free to enjoy the good times without the inhibitions of the not-so-good ones.

That’s one reason I love to go with all my energy when a world record opportunity comes about. I think this is called living, and I’m into that when I can be. And there’s no better time to shine than when one’s relaxed and doing what they love most. In my case, that’s attempting world records.

So, down in the far south-western corner of Australia, south of the city of Perth, I rounded up a few witnesses over a handful of days and led them into my world – a crazy one, but nonetheless an enjoyable one. First, I whipped out 3 boxes of matches and had my 2 accomplices watching as I halved 10 of them in 2.86 seconds. Was it noisy and too fast to see clearly? You bet, but thank goodness for slow-motion video camera recording.

Then, with the home owner’s permission, I scratched about the house for all the CDs I could find, and I found a lot. After trying and trying to balance 40 on one finger – unsupported, I finally got it right. But my finger was pretty much useless for the rest of the day: balancing such a weight on it had been draining.

We’d been inside all this time, so I hauled my assistants off into the sunshine for the next event: spitting a champagne cork as far as I could. This attempt took quite a lot of the afternoon because it was energy-intensive. I spat and spat and spat. My head started feeling light from all the spitting, but I was determined to continue. And without any advance warning, I suddenly managed to spit my cork just over 7 metres. It brought a smile to my face.

And from there, we raced back inside. There wasn’t time for anything boring! I’d placed about 50 toothpicks on the dining room table, and was intent on stuffing as many of them into my mouth as I could. That might sound easy, but in fact I had to rotate them without making a mistake. I knew I could do it and used 43, although my witnesses had to watch a lot of saliva draining form my lips as the event went on.

And finally, I set about squeezing on latex gloves. That’s right – all onto the same hand at once. The pain was prohibitive, but I believe that if I can get my mind through the pain barrier during world record attempts, I can achieve more and more. And that’s just what I did: calmed my mind as I whipped on glove after glove until adding any more became impossible. That occurred at glove number 65.

Once I’d recovered from this spate of acts, all that remained was for me to send the evidence off to the judges. It wasn’t long and I got the results: success for all I’d tried. See my website for more of the fun things I get up to.

Well, you might say, that’s not exactly what most people would call attempting life success. No, it’s not. But everybody has their own set of priorities, and I’d encourage them all to pursue their dreams accordingly.

Opportunities come and go, and the wise among us will snatch the most appropriate chances at the most appropriate times. It’s not easy – I know – but it’s definitely worth aspiring to, even if your goals are as light-hearted as mine are.

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